If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if your guest post pitch was written by the likes of Shakespeare, Eminem, or even The Hulk, wonder no more. What you’re about to experience is a collection of AI-generated pitches, created in the unique style of some of the most iconic people of now, history and fictional stories. It’s an entertaining exploration into the world of content, linguistics, and machine learning, but also a chance to take a step back and remember that even in the often intense world of SEO, there’s always room for a little bit of fun. So, without further ado, sit back, relax, and enjoy this lighthearted detour through the power of language, culture, and AI.
Table of Contents
Would you accept if Shakespeare reached out to you?
Subject: A Bard’s Appeal: For a Spot on [Their Website’s Name]
Hail to thee, noble [Recipient’s Name],
In the realm where knowledge meets the digital morn,
Under the digital sun where bright ideas are born,
I greet thee in earnest, with heart unworn,
A humble scholar, in the art of [Your Profession or Area of Expertise], adorned.
Through [Their Website’s Name], thou dost share wisdom vast,
Inspiring many, a beacon steadfast.
In this magnificent tapestry, I wish to cast,
A thread of my own, from experiences past.
Seek I permission, to join the chorus and sing,
To add to your tales, a scholarly ring.
A post, I propose, under your wing,
On the topic of [Your Topic], knowledge it will bring.
Here, three titles, like stars in the night,
Each bearing promise of intellectual light:
Aiming to lead your readers aright,
Should thou hold other subjects in delight,
Fear not, for I’m ready to write with all my might.
My profession as [Your Profession], honed by time,
My words, like a bell, ready to chime.
Written before, in rhythm and rhyme,
For [Other Website/Magazine], a climb sublime.
To [Their Website’s Name], I wish to lend,
A piece of wisdom, a helping hand to extend.
If my proposal finds thee willing to commend,
A draft, I promise, for thee to attend.
In hope and respect, this message I pen,
Thank thee for considering, noble friend.
Excited to join thee, to learn, to blend,
In the quest for knowledge, with no end.
In devotion,
Shakespeare
Terminator is back! Here is how it went.
Subject: [Their Website’s Name]: I’ll Be Back. Prepare for a Guest Post
Dear [Recipient’s Name],
I’m [Your Name], a machine in [Your Profession or Area of Expertise]. My mission: Deploy crucial intel on [Your Topic] on your site. Your readers, my targets.
Consider:
[Proposed Title #1] [Proposed Title #2] [Proposed Title #3] Each title a laser-focused directive. Experience: [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before].Give the green light. Let’s roll out.
End of line,
T-800 model in Cyberdyne Systems Series
Terminator
P.S. I’ll be back.
You Can’t Reject the President? Can you?
Subject: A Forward-Looking Proposal for [Their Website’s Name]
Hello [Recipient’s Name],
Hope this message finds you well. I am [Your Name], and in my career, I’ve learned a thing or two about navigating the intricacies of [Your Profession or Area of Expertise], much like navigating the political landscape of a country. As the 44th President of the United States, I spent my time in office championing progress, inclusivity, and the power of knowledge – principles I see mirrored in the content shared on [Their Website’s Name].
Today, I come to you not as a former president, but as a fellow advocate for education, hoping to contribute a guest post on the subject of [Your Topic]. This topic is one that I’m deeply familiar with, having engaged with it during my tenure in the White House and in the years since.
Just as there are numerous paths to progress, there are multiple angles from which we can approach this topic. Here are a few potential titles for your consideration:
[Proposed Title #1] [Proposed Title #2] [Proposed Title #3] Each title reflects a different facet of [Your Topic], offering your audience a broad and comprehensive understanding of the subject.My career in public service has been about connecting with people, from addressing the nation as President to writing for [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before]. My aim has always been to inform, engage, and inspire – an aim I hope to achieve with a contribution to [Their Website’s Name].
I look forward to the opportunity to share my insights with your readers and inspire them to make a positive change in their lives and their communities. If you think this collaboration could be beneficial, I would be glad to provide a draft for your review.
Thank you for considering this proposal. Let’s continue the work of fostering an informed and active citizenry together.
With optimism,
[Your Name]Let’s see how would Eminem spit it.
Subject: Guest Post Pitch, a Verse on [Their Website’s Name] Stitch
Hey [Recipient’s Name], what’s the sitch?
I’ve been playing your website like a hitch,
Reading each post, flipping every switch,
Your content quality, man, it’s rich.
I go by the name of [Your Name], I’m in the game,
[Your Profession or Area of Expertise], that’s my claim to fame,
Been around the block, ain’t here for the same,
Want to drop a guest post, that’s why I came.
Got a topic in mind, it’s [Your Topic],
Deep and relevant, ain’t no cheap gimmick,
Insights to share, knowledge so thick,
Believe me, man, it’ll make your audience tick.
Here’s a quick peek, don’t need to be cryptic,
Possible titles, all authentic and artistic:
- [Proposed Title #1]
- [Proposed Title #2]
- [Proposed Title #3]
Like a lyricist I pen, each word in flow,
Experience and expertise, ready to show,
Written before, for [Other Website/Magazine], that’s not low,
Been well received, just so you know.
Aiming to add value, to your digital nation,
Looking forward to a dope collaboration,
Hit me back if you like this conversation,
And let’s elevate your site’s reputation.
Peace out,
Eminem
We never thought of how John Muller would write a pitch, and we asked AI.
Subject: Enriching [Their Website’s Name] with Google’s Insights: A Proposal by John Mueller
Dear [Recipient’s Name],
Greetings from the heart of Google,
I’m John Mueller, a Webmaster Trends Analyst. Day in and day out, I immerse myself in the intricate workings of Google’s search algorithms, ever-driven to improve the user experience and help website owners understand our often enigmatic, yet crucial, search guidelines.
I’ve spent considerable time navigating through [Their Website’s Name]. It stands out, much like a high-ranking SERP result, for its dedicated delivery of enlightening and valuable content.
Here’s what I propose: I’d like to contribute a guest post on [Your Topic]. Given my extensive experience with Google’s SEO practices and trends, I believe I could bring a unique perspective that your audience would appreciate and benefit from.
Consider these potential SEO-rich titles:
- [Proposed Title #1]
- [Proposed Title #2]
- [Proposed Title #3]
Each piece would be optimized for search, filled with relevant information for your audience, and, importantly, compliant with Google’s latest guidelines.
I’ve shared Google’s wisdom with numerous platforms, including [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before]. The goal remains the same: to provide transparent, accurate, and actionable insights into the complex world of Google’s Search.
If this aligns with your vision for [Their Website’s Name], I’d be more than willing to get started.
Looking forward to possibly working together.
Best regards,
John Mueller
P.S. Remember, good SEO is about understanding the user and the search engine. Let’s help your readers better understand both.
The Godfather’s offer can’t be refused! Right? Right!
Subject: An Offer You Can’t Refuse: A Proposition from Don Corleone
Dear [Recipient’s Name],
I trust this message finds you well. They call me Don Corleone, a name of respect and influence in the world of [Your Profession or Area of Expertise]. Just as I guide the Corleone family, I guide the community through the labyrinth of [Your Topic].
Your establishment, [Their Website’s Name], has caught my eye. Much respect it commands, akin to the esteem of the Corleone name in our quarters.
Here’s my proposition: I offer to contribute a piece to your digital collection. Like a Corleone promise, it would provide an assurance of value, depth, and insight into [Your Topic] for your audience.
Weigh on these potential masterpieces:
[Proposed Title #1] [Proposed Title #2] [Proposed Title #3] Each one an offer of wisdom, a glimpse into an understanding few have had the privilege to experience.Previously, I have made similar offerings to [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before]. They were offers well accepted and beneficial for all involved parties, much like the Corleone dealings.
I make you this offer now, in good faith and respect for your work. Should you see the benefit in this, I am ready to uphold my end of the deal.
Respectfully,
Don Corleone, er, Vito Corleone
P.S. Remember, a Corleone offer is one of respect, tradition, and mutual benefits. I hope to hear from you soon.
Mahatma Gandhi – a visionary who got millions of followers, is pitching you
Subject: A Humble Offering for [Website’s Name]
Dear [Recipient’s Name],
Peace and goodwill to you. I am [Your Name], a practitioner and student of [Your Profession or Area of Expertise]. I write to you as a humble reader of [Their Website’s Name], a platform I admire for its dedication to truth, knowledge, and the betterment of society.
In the spirit of service and knowledge-sharing, I wish to extend a humble offering – a guest post on the topic of [Your Topic]. This topic holds a deep resonance with my professional and personal journey, and I believe it can provide valuable insights to your readers.
In the spirit of Gandhi’s spinning wheel, I weave the following potential titles for your kind perusal:
- [Proposed Title #1]
- [Proposed Title #2]
- [Proposed Title #3]
Each title, like a thread in the fabric of our collective understanding, provides a unique viewpoint on [Your Topic], aimed to empower your audience with knowledge and inspire them towards positive action.
During my path as a [Your Profession], I have sought to share my learnings through written words on platforms like [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before]. Much like the peaceful resistance championed by Mahatma Gandhi, my writings are aimed at peaceful enlightenment, helping others in their quest for knowledge and understanding.
In reaching out to you, I seek to be a small part of the great work that [Their Website’s Name] is doing in illuminating minds and inspiring action. Should my proposal resonate with you, I would be more than happy to provide a draft for your review.
Thank you for considering my proposal. May we continue to strive for truth and non-violence in all our endeavors, and in the realm of knowledge sharing.
In service and peace,
Mahatma Gandhi
You can’t reject anything when Hemingway is reaching out. Right?
Subject: A Guest Post Pitch: True at First Light for [Their Website’s Name]
Dear [Recipient’s Name],
I am [Your Name], a practitioner of [Your Profession or Area of Expertise], a job as concrete as the Old Man and the Sea.
I have long been a reader of [Their Website’s Name], each article as straightforward and impactful as a Hemingway sentence, each insight shedding light as truthfully as the Sun Also Rises.
I’d like to write a guest post for your site, focused on [Your Topic], a subject I’ve pursued with the persistence of Santiago chasing the marlin.
Like a short story collection, here are several titles to choose from:
[Proposed Title #1] [Proposed Title #2] [Proposed Title #3] Each title is as different as the characters in “To Have and Have Not”, yet all serving the same purpose – to provide your readers with fresh perspectives and valuable information.As an aficionado in [Your Profession], I’ve written for [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before]. My work has been appreciated, just like Hemingway’s “A Moveable Feast” was savored by many.
With this letter, I aim to initiate a “Farewell to Arms” with any doubt you may have about my proposal. If you feel this potential collaboration could be beneficial, as I believe, I would be more than happy to provide a draft for your perusal.
Best,
Hemingway
P.S. In our quest for truth and knowledge, let us write hard and clear about what hurts, and what enlightens. Let’s give your readers an experience as riveting as “For Whom the Bell Tolls”.
We know Martin Luther King would do everything peacefully and rightfully.
Subject: A Vision for [Website’s Name] – A Guest Post Proposal
Dear [Recipient’s Name],
Grace and peace to you. I am [Your Name], an ardent disciple of [Your Profession or Area of Expertise]. I write to you as a dedicated reader of [Their Website’s Name], a platform I admire for its commitment to enlightenment and progressive discourse.
In the spirit of fostering unity and understanding, I wish to offer a contribution to your platform in the form of a guest post. The topic I intend to focus on is [Your Topic], a matter close to my heart, and one that aligns with my professional calling.
Similar to the Ninety-Five Theses, I propose the following potential titles for your kind consideration:
[Proposed Title #1] [Proposed Title #2] [Proposed Title #3] Each topic holds the potential to spark dialogue and shed light on different facets of [Your Topic], ultimately providing your audience with fresh perspectives and actionable insights.In the course of my profession as a [Your Profession], I have shared my knowledge and experience through writings on [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before]. Similar to the principles of the Reformation, my work has been rooted in truth and has aided others in their journey towards knowledge and enlightenment.
I reach out to you with the hope that this potential collaboration will add value to [Their Website’s Name] and its readership. If my proposal aligns with your vision, I would be glad to provide a draft for your review.
Thank you for considering this. I look forward to the possibility of working together to further the cause of education and understanding.
Yours in truth and service,
Martin Luther
Unlike Hulk, er. Bruce Banner that got angry and green real fast
Subject: Guest Post Proposal from The Hulk: Smash Ignorance with [Your Topic]
Dear [Recipient’s Name],
Greetings, my name is [Your Name], but I’m better known as The Hulk in the world of [Your Profession or Area of Expertise]. You know, it’s not easy being green, but it’s a heck of a lot easier than seeing misinformation about [Your Topic] spread around.
I’ve been a long-time admirer of your website, [Their Website’s Name]. It’s a beacon of knowledge in the vast digital landscape. Very peaceful… like a calm, green field.
But then, I see the misinformation out there… the ignorance. It gets me… well… you won’t like me when I’m angry.
Here’s what I propose: I want to SMASH through the false beliefs surrounding [Your Topic] with a guest post on your site. My aim? To leave readers better informed, and hopefully, less likely to trigger my… other side.
Consider these topic titles:
[Proposed Title #1] [Proposed Title #2] [Proposed Title #3] Just thinking about the potential impact… well, it’s enough to make me start feeling a bit more green.Previously, I’ve left my mark on [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before]. Yes, those were satisfying smashes. But I’m ready for the next one.
Let’s do this. Let’s smash ignorance together. Or else…
Well, let’s just say, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
Best regards,
Hulk, er, Bruce Banner
P.S. Let’s not make this an issue. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. And I wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. But when we SMASH ignorance together… that’s a different story.
Strangely, Sigmund Freud’s pitch was very simple
Subject: An Unconscious Desire to Explore [Your Topic] on [Website’s Name]
Dear [Recipient’s Name],
Allow me to introduce myself – I am [Your Name], deeply invested in the world of [Your Profession or Area of Expertise], much like my fascination with the human psyche. As an avid reader of [Their Website’s Name], I admire your dedication to unearthing knowledge, akin to the way one unravels the mysteries of the human mind.
I have been drawn, by an irresistible unconscious impulse, to propose a contribution to your esteemed platform, a guest post on [Your Topic]. Much like the topography of the mind, this subject is layered and rich, one I believe can provide your readers with valuable insights and stimulate interesting discourse.
Here are three possible thematic explorations, akin to the tripartite structure of the psyche:
[Proposed Title #1] [Proposed Title #2] [Proposed Title #3] Each proposal offers a unique lens to look into the topic, encouraging your readers to delve deeper into their understanding, similar to a session on Freud’s couch.Throughout my career in [Your Profession], my work has been shared on several platforms including [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before]. Each piece of writing, much like each psychoanalysis session, aimed at bringing clarity and insight to the surface.
I would be honored to contribute to [Their Website’s Name] and join your effort in shedding light on the complexities of our world. Should you find this proposition worthy of further exploration, I am prepared to present a draft for your consideration.
Thank you for entertaining this notion. May we continue to uncover truths and stimulate minds together.
Best regards,
Sigmund Freud
Elon Musk is being Elon Musk
Subject: Turbocharging [Their Website’s Name]: A Not-So-Ordinary Pitch
Hey [Recipient’s Name],
This is [Your Name], a little like a less billionaire, less rocket science-y Elon Musk in the world of [Your Profession or Area of Expertise].
I enjoy your site, [Their Website’s Name]. It’s one of the few that hasn’t bored me into an early digital retirement. So, I figured, why not mix things up a bit? Let’s add a guest post on [Your Topic]. Trust me, it’ll be more exciting than watching paint dry on Mars.
Here are a few possible titles, all more engaging than an annual shareholders meeting:
[Proposed Title #1] [Proposed Title #2] [Proposed Title #3] I’ve written some stuff before, you can check it out at [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before]. It’s received some good feedback, or so they tell me.Let me know if you’re game. And remember, as someone once said, “Failure is an option here. If things are not failing, you are not innovating enough.”
Cheers,
Elon
chatGPT just couldn’t joke like Kevin Hurt (we think)
Subject: Brace Yourself [Their Website’s Name]: A Pitch That Packs a Punchline
Hey [Recipient’s Name],
So there’s this guy named [Your Name], right? Now, this guy ain’t no Kevin Hart, but he’s been known to crack a joke or two in his field of [Your Profession or Area of Expertise]. He walks into [Their Website’s Name] and he says, “Your content is so good, it’s intimidating! It’s like Dwayne Johnson walked into the room and all the other content are Kevin Harts!”
Okay, okay. I know you’re thinking, “Is this guy serious?” Well, let me tell you – the only thing serious here is my desire to make your readers laugh while they learn about [Your Topic]. So, for my next trick, I present you with three comedic titles that could lighten up your content line-up:
- [Proposed Title #1]
- [Proposed Title #2]
- [Proposed Title #3]
How do you like that? A bit of comedy with your [Your Profession or Area of Expertise], like a joke with a punchline that packs a knowledge bomb.
Now, I know I’m no stand-up comedian. I’m just a [Your Profession], who’s done some funny business at [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before]. But, if you’re interested in a little comedy club collab, I’m your guy.
Let’s sprinkle a little laughter on [Your Topic] and see if we can’t give your readers a good time while we’re at it. Let me know if you’re up for some giggles.
Stay Laughing,
Kevin
P.S. If laughter is the best medicine, consider this pitch the start of your site’s healthcare plan.
We Got a Magical Pitch from DumbleDore.
Subject: A Magical Proposal from Dumbledore: An Invitation to Explore [Your Topic]
Dear [Recipient’s Name],
Good day to you from Hogwarts. Albus Dumbledore, I am, in the world of [Your Profession or Area of Expertise]. As I guide young wizards and witches in the magical arts, I also find joy in guiding individuals in understanding [Your Topic].
Your digital parchment, [Their Website’s Name], often I peruse. A place of much wisdom and enlightenment, it is, not unlike the towering shelves of the Hogwarts library.
It is my humble desire to contribute a guest post to your site. Much like casting a lumos spell in the darkness, it seeks to illuminate [Your Topic] for your readers.
Consider, if you will, these potential magical spells… er, titles:
- [Proposed Title #1]
- [Proposed Title #2]
- [Proposed Title #3]
Each one a different incantation, each one capable of opening up a new world of understanding.
Before, I have shared wisdom on [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before], as I have shared wisdom with my students at Hogwarts. The experience was a joyous one, akin to seeing a student successfully cast their first Patronus.
Your consent, I seek, to embark on this magical journey of knowledge sharing. Should you find this proposal agreeable, I am ready to start brewing this potion of knowledge.
With utmost respect and gratitude for your consideration, I remain,
Albus Dumbledore,
P.S. Remember, it is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. So, shall we choose to embark on this journey together?
And Finally the pitch from Yoda and he does encourage passing on the knowledge, as do we
Subject: A Unique Guest Post Pitch, This Is: From Yoda, It Comes
Dear [Recipient’s Name],
Greetings, hmmm. Yoda, I am, in the world of [Your Profession or Area of Expertise]. In the grandeur of the galaxy, guide individuals in understanding [Your Topic], I do, much as I train Jedi in the ways of the Force.
In the vast expanse of the digital universe, your site, [Their Website’s Name], often, I visit. Wisdom, I find. Light, it spreads, in a galaxy often shrouded by ignorance.
A wish, I harbor, to contribute a guest post to your platform. On [Your Topic], it will shine its beam, much like a lightsaber pierces the darkness. Illuminate the minds of your readers, it seeks to.
Hmmmm, consider these potential titles, you must:
[Proposed Title #1] [Proposed Title #2] [Proposed Title #3] Each offering a unique path, a unique lesson. Just as every Jedi’s journey is different, so too are these paths to knowledge.In my wisdom-sharing journey, contributed to [Any Other Website or Magazine Where You’ve Written Before], I have. Guided many to the light, it has, as a Jedi Master guides his Padawan.
Seek your blessing, I do, to embark on this mission. Ready to draft this journey into words, I am, should you permit.
Grateful, I am, for your consideration. May the Force guide us in this endeavor.
Yours in the Force,
Yoda
P.S. Remember, pass on what you have learned. Ready to begin this journey, are you?
